


Talk Less

by thekindworthreading



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, First Dates, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, past abusive relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23443630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekindworthreading/pseuds/thekindworthreading
Summary: Thomas can´t be flirting with him, right? Alex sure is delusional.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson
Comments: 73
Kudos: 173





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [goddamnfaith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddamnfaith/gifts).



> Thanks @goddamnfaith for keeping me company while writing this EVEN THOUGH I TOLD YOU TO GO TO SLEEP!! It´s bad enough that I´m awake until 5a.m.!! Anyway love talking to you, so I was glad that you didn´t listen to me haha  
> Hope you like this one :)

Alex is sitting alone at the bar, a glass of orange juice in his hand. Their entire department had decided to go to a bar and because it´s already quite late, everyone is in different degrees of drunkenness. He is watching Burr trying to flirt with a girl and can´t help but chuckle. He really hopes he will get her number.

“Seems like we are the only sober ones here, huh?”, a voice behind him says, and he turns around, looking up at Jefferson.

He hadn´t really seen the other man the whole evening, so he wasn´t prepared how amazing he looks in casual clothing. The striped pullover hugs his chest in all the right places and Alex had never thought someone could look so hot in jeans; it simply takes his breath away for a moment.

“Yeah…”, he gives back, his voice sounding off.

Jefferson laughs quietly and sits down beside him.

“Why are you not drinking?”, Jefferson asks, nodding at his glass of orange juice.

Alexander shrugs.

“Don´t like what it does to my mind. You?”

At that Jefferson shakes his head amused.

“That´s such a Hamilton answer.”

He huffs irritated.

“What´s that supposed to mean?”

But Jefferson just shakes his head, smiling slightly. They talk for a few minutes, their usual heated fighting turning to easy banter. Alex isn´t sure he´s liking it, because it makes not wanting to kiss the other man so much harder.

“I´m starving.”, Thomas says, after Alex has finished his drink. “Let´s head out and grab something to eat?”

For a second Alex just stares at him, before he nods. Thomas grins and gets up, Alex following suit. They head outside and Alex takes a deep breath, relishing the fresh air. It´s almost too cold for the pullover Alex is wearing, even though it doesn´t seem to affect Thomas at all.

“Do you know a 24/7 place around here?”, Thomas asks, and Alex nods.

“Yeah, there´s one just around the corner, actually.”, he smirks, bumping his shoulder into Thomas´. “But it´s probably not fancy enough for a snob like you.”

“Watch your mouth.”, Thomas warns laughing.

True to Alexander´s words, they arrive at the diner not even ten minutes later. They get into a booth and instantly start fighting for the one menu. Thomas wins, holding it triumphally above his head.

“Fucking asshole.”, Alex mutters, but his mean words get contradicted by the smile on his face.

“I´m simply better than you.”

Alex rolls his eyes dramatically, and gets up, slipping into the booth next to Thomas. Their shoulders bump together, and Alex grins up at him. There is something in Thomas´ expression that he can´t quite place, but before he can completely grasp it, he looks away at the menu in front of him.

“What do you think about sharing fries?”, Thomas asks, after having studied the card for some time.

Alex nods.

“Sure. What´re you getting?”

“A burger and either the strawberry milkshake or the Oreo one, I can´t decide.”

“Take the Oreo one! I´ll get the strawberry one and we can switch.”, he proposes, far too excited about his idea.

“How romantic.”, Thomas comments, nudging him with his elbow.

Alexander´s face flushes a bright red, and he is glad that the waitress decides to take their order in this moment.

“Good evening! What can I get you?”, she asks with a bright smile.

Before Alex can answer, though, Thomas starts speaking: “We´ll take the fries, a strawberry and one Oreo milkshake, with two straws each, please. And I´ll get the House Burger. Alexander, what else do you want?”

Alex feels his face burning even more, as he gives the waitress his order, and he doesn´t even know why.

“Are you alright?”, Thomas asks, after she has left.

He turns around to Alex, resting his arm behind his back.

“Yeah?”, Alex answers, but it comes out as more of a question.

Thomas laughs.

“Am I making you flustered, my dear Alexander?”, Thomas asks, his voice low and seductive, and wow if that isn´t doing stuff to him.

“Fuck off, asshole.”, he mutters, but Thomas just laughs more.

Before Alex can embarrass himself anymore, the waitress luckily brings them their order. He reaches for the strawberry milkshake, but Thomas snatches it away, taking a long sip from it.

“Hey!”, Alex says indignantly.

“You said we´re sharing.”, Thomas defends himself, but Alex can see the mischievous glint in his eyes.

“And you made fun of me for it!”, Alex protests.

Thomas rolls his eyes.

“ _No,_ I said that it´s romantic.”

Alex takes his burger and bites into it, so that he doesn´t have to reply to this. He can feel Thomas watching him from the side and does his best not to blush at the other man´s attention. He fails, obviously. The conversation flows easily, and Alex enjoys every minute of it. He knows that he shouldn´t get his hopes up, but there are moments, when he thinks Thomas might be flirting with him. After they are done with their burgers and fries, Thomas proposes to get something sweet as a dessert.

“I will literally die if I eat another bite.”

Thomas laughs.

“Don´t be so dramatic.”, Thomas says smiling, and then to the waitress: “We´ll take a piece of chocolate cake.”

“I knew you wanted me dead!”

Thomas just laughs again and Alex can´t help but think that it´s the most beautiful sound he has ever heard. When he thinks about it, he had never heard Thomas laugh so freely and often as at that evening. The waitress is back a moment later with their cake, and Thomas takes the fork and cuts a piece off. He takes a bite from the cake and closes his eyes in bliss. Alex watches him with a smile.

“This tastes amazing.”, Thomas says, loading another piece onto the fork.

He turns around to Alex and moves it into the direction of his mouth.

“Open up!”, he says grinning, and Alex flushes a bright red again, but does as he´s told.

Thomas hadn´t lied, the cake did taste amazing, but Alex was far too distracted by Thomas who keeps feeding him piece after piece of cake. His heart feels like it´s about to jump out of his chest, while Thomas seems to think this is completely normal behaviour for two work rivals.

Alex honestly isn´t even surprised when Thomas pays for their meal without even acknowledging his protests. He feels flattered even though he´d never admit it. Alex follows Thomas outside and stops him, his heart beating fast and loud in his chest.

“Okay, fuck me if I´m wrong, but this was like, a date, right?”, Alex says, and Thomas stares at him with a mix of fondness and amusement.

He takes a step closer to Alex, resting his hands on his hips.

“You are not wrong, but I would still very much like to fuck you.”, he answers, and Alex can feel his knees getting weak.

He lets out something between a moan and a whine and pulls Thomas´ head down, kissing him deeply. Thomas slings his arms around Alexander´s smaller frame, pulling him closer against his body. Alex lets out another undignified noise, and Thomas reluctantly breaks the kiss, resting their foreheads together. Alex can feel Thomas´ hot and rapid breath on his face and shudders.

“I´m flat´s only like a block away.”, he pants, and Alex nods enthusiastically.

“ _Yes_.”, he practically moans, grabbing Thomas´ hand and pulling. “I don´t want Washington to have to bail us out of prison for indecent exposure.”

Thomas keeps standing, even as Alex tries to pull him with him.

“First: please don´t mention Washington while I´m about to have a boner. Second: you´re going in the wrong direction, darling.”

Alex feels his face growing hot again, but at the same time shudders at the pet name. He obediently follows Thomas down the street, still clutching his hand tightly. From time to time he pulls him down for a kiss, still in awe that he can do that. When they finally reach Thomas´ flat and step into the elevator, Thomas presses him against the wall almost immediately, giving him a rough kiss. They almost don´t hear the elevator doors opening again, and blindly stumble out into the corridor. While Thomas struggles with the keys, Alex keeps kissing his neck.

“Stop that, it´s damn distracting!”, Thomas curses, but the small moan that slips out contradicts his words.

He finally manages to open the door and drags Alex into the bedroom, pulling his sweater and t-shirt off on their way there. In the bedroom he turns around to Alex and cups his face with his hands, kissing him so slow and sweet that his head starts to spin.

“You´re gonna be the death of me.”, Thomas mumbles.

Alex just whimpers, and Thomas deepens the kiss. They keep kissing like that for some time their hands roaming each other’s bodies. They are reluctant to break their kissing, but the need for air forces them to. During one of their breaks, Alex pulls Thomas´ sweater over his head, moaning at the sight in front of him.

“God Thomas!“, Alexander pants, before pressing another open-mouthed kiss to the other man´s mouth.

He groans when their hips grind together, burying his face in Thomas´ shoulder for a moment. He starts leaving wet kisses along his jaw, before seeking out Thomas´ mouth again.

“You have no idea how long I´ve wanted to do this.”, Alex whispers into Thomas´ ear, before biting down on it, which causes Thomas to let out a surprised squeak.

“Knew you´d be the vocal type in the bedroom.”, Thomas says fondly.

He guides Alexander´s lips back to his mouth, swallowing his moan, as he slips one hand into his trousers.

“God, I never thought this would actually happen.”, Alex pants again.

Thomas chuckles softly.

“Why don´t you use that pretty mouth of yours for something better?”, Thomas suggests, taking a step backwards.

At that Alex stiffens, his dazed smile turning forced. His heart skips a beat and he can feel tears starting to form in his eyes. It feels like a slap in the face, but still, he lets himself fall to his knees. He is about to undo Thomas´ trousers, but before he can do that, a hand in his hair stops him. He looks up hesitantly, fearing what he might find in Thomas´ face. He expects anger but instead there is concern written all over it. Before Alex can react, Thomas is kneeling in front of him, his hand reaching up to cup his face.

“What´s the matter?”, Thomas asks softly.

Alex drops his gaze again, but Thomas´ fingers curl beneath his chin and gently tilt his head back.

“Hey, talk to me, whatever this is, we can work it out. Did I do something wrong?”

Alex swallows audibly and takes a deep breath, finally meeting Thomas´ eyes.

“It´s okay if I talk?”, he asks quietly, and he can see the confusion written all over Thomas´ face.

“What? Of course, why-“, he stops, as a sudden thought strikes him. “Wait, is this about me telling you that you should use your mouth for something better?”

When Alex nods hesitantly, Thomas sighs.

“Sweetheart, that´s not what I meant _at all_. I love hearing you talk. I would never tell you to stop talking. Why would you think that?”

Alexander takes a few deep breaths, his hand searching for the other man´s. He still hesitates a moment, making sure that Thomas means what he said, before he clears his throat and starts speaking.

“My last… relationship was with a man who always said that I talk too much. He… he always said that I should rather be seen than heard, and when you said that, it just reminded me a lot of him, and I thought… I thought you wanted that too.”

Thomas feels his heart shatter at that.

“Of course not. Alexander, sweetheart, I promise you, I would never ask this of you.”

Thomas helps the younger man to his feet and guides him to his bed. They get in, and Thomas drapes the blanket over them. He pulls Alex against his chest and presses a kiss to his hair.

“I´m sorry that I destroyed this.”, Alex whispers after some time, and Thomas feels his heart break a little bit more.

“You didn´t destroy anything. I get to hold you in my arms and that´s enough.”

He can feel Alex relax slightly.

“You really mean that?”

Thomas shuffles a bit away from him and lifts Alexander´s head with a finger under his chin. Then he leans forward and kisses him, slow and sweet and full of reassurance.

“I do. I could never lie to you. Not about this. Not about us.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex wakes up next to Thomas and starts overthinking everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @goddamnfaith thank you again for staying up all night with me, I know I´m not a functional human being haha  
> Hope you like it :)

When Alex wakes up the next morning, he is confused about where he is at first, blinking into the sun that´s streaming in through a window that doesn´t belong to anywhere he knows. Then he suddenly remembers what had happened the night before, which explains the arm that´s wrapped around him. He also remembers his little breakdown and suddenly feels uneasy. What if Thomas doesn´t mean what he had said? What if he thinks he´s pathetic? He doesn´t know what he´ll do, but he needs space to think. He slowly starts to slip out from Thomas´ grip, praying that the other man won´t wake up. Of course, the universe hates him, and Thomas stirs, before he is even out of the bed.

“Trying to sneak away?”, Thomas asks yawning, and Alex feels his face flushing.

“No…? Yes… I don´t know. Do you want me to?”

Thomas regards him with a serious, almost sad expression.

“I don´t want that, obviously. But if that´s what _you_ want, I definitely won´t force you to stay.”

Alex nods.

“I… I want to stay. But, yesterday… I…”, he trails off.

Thomas sits up in the bed, his hair a complete mess, and Alex can´t help but think that it looks incredibly hot and cute at the same time. Why did he have to fuck it up? Thomas beckons him closer, taking his hand and pulling him onto the bed.

“Yes, we need to talk about yesterday, but that can wait until a bit later. How about some morning cuddle for now?”

Alex looks at him sceptically, before he nods, allowing Thomas to wrap him into his arms. He instantly feels calmer, snuggling closer to the other man´s still bare chest.

“So you meant what you´ve said yesterday?”, Alex asks quietly.

“Every word of it.”

Alex smiles, leaning back, so that he can look Thomas in the eyes.

“I´d like to kiss you. Can I do that?”

“Yes, you can, darling. I´d like that very much.”

At that Alex leans forward again, pressing a quick kiss to Thomas lips.

“Morning.”, he says. “Let´s pretend that we just woke up, alright?”

Thomas rolls his eyes.

“You are ridiculous.”

He gives Alex a kiss too, smiling at him.

“Good morning.”

Alex moves his hand up, touching Thomas´ hair, who just looks at him amused.

“It´s fluffy.”, he comments, after some time.

They stay like this for some time, sharing a few kisses from time to time, and Alex feels like his heart might burst at any moment. Then his stomach decides to let out a loud growl and he feels himself blushing a bit, while Thomas laughs. He presses a kiss to Alex´ head, before disentangling himself from the smaller man.

“I´ll go make breakfast. You can take a shower if you want to.”

Alex whines at the loss of contact and tries to catch Thomas´ arm, but he moves away quickly.

“You could come too.”, Alex suggests, winking.

Thomas just shakes his head smiling.

“Sometime. I´ll make you breakfast. I know how whiny you get during meetings when you´re hungry.”

Alex pouts.

“Not true.”

Thomas walks to the door, ignoring him, but turns around again smirking.

“Oh, and don´t jerk off in the shower.”

With that he is gone, leaving Alex flustered and alone.

“Wasn´t going to.”, he mutters, grabbing his jeans, that´s lying on the floor, and one of Thomas´ t-shirts, before walking into the adjoining bathroom.

Last night, he hadn´t had the mind for really looking at the flat, but now he notices clearly how rich Thomas is. The bathroom is gigantic and modern, and Alex is honestly afraid to even touch anything. He gets into the shower, fighting with it for a moment, before he manages to turn it on. The water hits him in the face with full force, and he takes a step back coughing. He turns it down a bit, and finally steps under it, letting out a content sigh. He takes his time in there, trying not to let his thoughts wander to the conversation he is going to have with Thomas later. He knows that there´s no way around it, but still his heart sinks at the thought and his stomach becomes a tight knot. He knows he can trust Thomas, but it´s still hard to talk about. _He can trust Thomas, right?_ A knock on the door snaps him out of his thoughts and he turns the shower off.

“Breakfast´s ready, mermaid!”, Thomas calls through the door.

“I´m on my way!”

He quickly dries himself, before putting on his clothes. His hair falls around his face in wet curls as he makes his way out of the bathroom and into the living room. There is a smell of pancakes in the air and his stomach growls again. The kitchen is only separated from it through a counter where a plate is already waiting for him.

“I honestly never would have thought that you can cook.”, he says as he walks into the living room.

Thomas turns around to respond something, but stops, staring at Alex, who blushes when Thomas doesn´t look away again.

“What?”, he finally asks, touching his hair self-consciously.

“Are you wearing my shirt?”, Thomas asks, his voice sounding odd.

Alex looks down at his chest; he had almost forgotten that he had put it on.

“Uhm… I´ll go change! I just didn´t know where mine was so…”, he trails off.

Thomas comes out of the kitchen, shaking his head.

“Don´t you dare.”

He puts his hands on Alex´ hips, and pulls him in for a kiss. Alex lets out a surprised huff, before he melts into the kiss.

“You have honestly no idea what you are doing to me right now.”, Thomas whispers, kissing him again.

After a moment Alex pushes him away.

“The pancakes are burning.”, he explains at Thomas´ confused looks.

Thomas turns around and sprints into the kitchen, cursing while Alex laughs and takes a seat at the counter. He watches Thomas as he tries – and fails – to safe the pancake, still in awe that this is all really happening. Thomas curses again as he throws the pancake away and joins him a minute later. They start eating and Alex almost moans at how good it tastes, looking over at Thomas with a smile.

“It tastes amazing! Can I like, marry you so that you can always cook for me?”

Thomas chuckles softly, leaning over and presses a kiss to Alex cheek.

“Glad you like it.”

The conversation flows easily during their breakfast and Alex is kind of amazed, that they haven´t yet run out of things to talk about. When they are done eating, Thomas gathers their plates and puts them into the dishwasher, before joining Alex again.

“Let´s sit down on the couch, alright?”, he asks, and Alex nods.

He feels anxiety starting to grow in him as Thomas takes his hand and leads him to the grey couch in the living room. They sit down side by side, facing each other on the couch, while Thomas still holds Alex´ hands in his own. He looks nervous too, which is oddly reassuring for Alex.

“Okay I just wanted to make something clear from the beginning. I like you. And I want a relationship with you. But we will take it slow and do it entirely on your terms.”, Thomas takes a deep breath and Alex squeezes his hand reassuringly. “I know that this must be hard for you to talk about, but it´s important that we do.”

Alex nods.

“I know.”, Alex clears his throat, before he starts talking. “So, okay… uhm, right.”

“Take your time. Just start at the beginning. How´d you met.”, Thomas advises.

Alex nods.

“Yeah. Okay, well I met this guy last year and he was sweet. And we started dating after some time. He was a bit bossy, but I didn´t really mind. Then he started to uhm… correct me. Telling me that I shouldn´t talk so much and just smile and _be pretty_ when we met his friends. I hardly ever saw mine and became really dependant on him. John helped me get away from him.”

He lets out a shuddering breath and reluctantly looks up at Thomas, who looks so sad, that Alex almost regrets having told him this.

“How far… how far did he go? Did he hit you or…?”, Thomas trails off, but Alex knows exactly what he means.

He shakes his head rapidly.

“No. No, nothing like this. He was just manipulative.”

Thomas nods, he closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath.

“How long were you two together?”

Alex can feel his face burn in shame as he answers: “Almost six months. We broke up in December.”

“So, four months ago.”

Alex nods.

“I´m sorry that that happened to you.”

“It´s okay.”

Thomas shakes his head.

“It´s not.”, he insists.

“I know.”

An uncomfortable silence settles over the room after that. At least Thomas hasn´t let go of his hands yet, so that has to mean that he´s not mad, right? Before Alex can overthink it any further, though, he feels Thomas tilting his head up.

“Can I take you on a date? Like a real one?”, he asks, and Alex starts smiling.

His heart is still beating fast, but this time it is from excitement, rather than fear.

“ _Yes_.”, he says, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Thomas´ lips.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas and Alex have their real first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow okay I didn´t plan on it being so long, but whatever enjoy haha  
> @goddamnfaith are you excited to figure out if you´ve guessed my dream date right??

As soon as Alex gets home, he sends John a text and turns on his laptop, opening the video chat. John joins him almost immediately and Alex grins at him.

“You will never guess who asked me on a date!”, he shouts instead of a greeting.

John´s smile turns worried even though he does his best to hide it. Ever since John had found out about how Alex was treated by his ex, he had become even more protective and Alex really can´t blame him.

“Who is it?”, John asks.

Alex grins sheepishly.

“Thomas. I even spent the night at his place.”

This time John doesn´t even try to hide how worried he is.

“Jefferson?”

Alex nods.

“Yeah, when we aren´t fighting, he can be actually nice.”, he chuckles, but John still doesn´t look convinced.

“Alex, I´m happy for you, but be careful, okay. I don´t want you to get hurt again.”

Alex gives him a reassuring smile.

“He´s friends with Laf, so he can´t be that much of an asshole. Also, we already talked about last time and he was really sweet.”

That seems to put John at least a bit at ease, and this time his smile is genuine.

“Alright, tell me everything.”

Alex gladly obliges, sparing absolutely no detail from the night before.

“Okay, he seems to be not that bad, but I swear to god, if he treats you badly, I won´t hesitate to kill him.”

Alex laughs at that.

“I really believe you.”

“You really should. I´m dead serious.”, John says with a grin. “But, anyway, where´s he taking you?”

Alex shrugs.

“He didn´t tell me. Just said I should dress nicely, but not too formal. So I was thinking black jeans and a dress shirt?”

John nods.

“Yeah, sounds good. Text me please when you´re there and when you get home.”

“Sure thing.” Alex glances at the clock. “Okay, I gotta go. I want to get some writing done before Thomas gets me. Bye, love ya.”

John chuckles softly.

“You really are non-stop. Stay safe and don´t forget to text me. Love you too.”

They end the call and Alex opens a word document, after setting an alarm for half past 2, because he knows that he´ll lose track of time. He gets so absorbed by his writing that he jumps in surprise at the alarm. He presses snooze and writes another paragraph, before the alarm starts again. This time he saves the document and turns off the computer. His heart is fluttering in his chest in anticipation as he looks through his wardrobe. He takes out a pair of black jeans and then looks through his shirts. He isn´t really sure what Thomas means by “nice”. For him that would mean a white shirt, but maybe he just meant a pullover? Before he can overthink this any more than he already does, his phone vibrates with a new message. It´s from Thomas and reads: “On my way, pick you up in 10”. His heart starts beating even faster at that and he takes out one of his white shirts and puts it on. Then he makes his way into the bathroom and pulls his hair into a neat ponytail. When he is more or less satisfied with how he looks, he grabs his phone, keys, wallet and jacket and heads downstairs.

He only has to wait for about two minutes, before a taxi pulls over in front of him. He quickly joins Thomas inside, who gives him a happy smile.

“Hey.”, Thomas says quietly.

“Hi.”, Alex gives back. “You still won´t tell me where you´re taking me, right?”

Thomas shakes his head.

“Where would be the fun in that?”

Alex huffs.

“Says the serial killer.”

Alex watches the streets pass by, trying to figure out where Thomas is taking him. They stop in front of an old building that Alex has never seen before. Thomas pays the driver and they get out. Alex notices now that Thomas is wearing a shirt as well – a dark blue one – and instantly feels more secure about his choice of clothing.

“You look stunning, Alexander.”, Thomas says, as if he can read his mind, and Alex blushes.

“You´re one to talk.”, he gives back.

Thomas smiles.

“I know, right?”

Alex groans, while Thomas chuckles softly.

“Ready for our date?”, Thomas asks, taking Alexander´s hand in his own and starting to walk up to the building.

Alex nods enthusiastically, a bit in awe that it seems so natural for Thomas to hold his hand, like it´s something they have done millions of times before.

“Is that alright?”, Thomas asks, when he notices Alex staring at their hands.

Alex nods.

“Yeah, I like that.”

Thomas smiles warmly and starts walking up to the building.

“Wait, I´ll just send John my location, he asked me to do this so that he doesn´t worry so much.”

Thomas nods and they stop as Alex takes out his phone.

“Sure, I can imagine that he wants that after what happened.”

He quickly sends his best friend the location and a text that everything is fine. They walk up the stairs and enter the building, stopping at the end of the queue.

“Is this a museum?”, Alex asks, craning his neck so that he can look past the entrance.

Thomas rakes his fingers through his hair, looking a bit nervous.

“Yeah, I thought it would be nice and I also remember you saying sometime that you never have time for visiting museums, so I figured?”, he sounds a bit unsure, but Alex´ heart nearly bursts at his words.

He leans up and presses a quick kiss to Thomas´ lips.

“This is honestly my dream date.”, he confesses with a small laugh. “Who told you?”

Thomas shakes his head, a big smile on his face.

“No one. But I´m glad you like it.”

They only have to wait for a few minutes, until they are able to enter the exhibition. The pictures on the wall are from a painter Alex isn´t familiar with, but Thomas knows him and tells him a little story to each picture they´re passing. Alex can´t seem to wipe off the small smile on his face, while listening to Thomas´ low and delighted voice, their fingers still intertwined.

“Why do you know so much about this guy?”, Alex asks after some time.

Thomas smiles.

“I took an art course when I was in college and wrote a paper about him. I really liked his art, so I read more about him.”

“What?”, Thomas asks, when Alex just stares at him.

The smaller man shakes his head, huffing out a little laugh.

“Nothing, it´s just. I never would have thought that.”

Thomas smiles.

“I mean, that´s why we´re on a date.”

“So that you can talk about yourself, like the self-absorbed asshole you are?”, Alex asks with a grin, and Thomas laughs quietly.

“You´ve got me.” His smile turns smug. “I would really like to kiss you, but there´s a sign that you´re not allowed to touch the art so.”

Instantly Alex´ face starts to burn and he hides it in his hands.

“Shut up.”, he whines.

Thomas takes his hands and removes them from his face, pressing a quick kiss to Alexander´s lips.

“Come”, he says with a tug on his hand. “You haven´t even seen my favourite painting yet.”

They spend the next hours like that, looking at pictures with Thomas talking about them and Alex soaking up every word. Thomas doesn´t let go of Alex´ hand once and he really can´t comprehend how they got here.

“We should go.”, Thomas says finally, after a look at his phone. “Wouldn´t want to miss our dinner reservation, would we?”

Alex looks up at him surprised.

“Wait, you´re taking me out for dinner too?”

Thomas reaches up and pushes a strand of hair behind Alex´ ear, the feather light touch sending a shiver through his body.

“Who do you take me for? Of course, I´m taking you out for dinner.”, Thomas says, his voice almost sounding indigent.

Alex rolls his eyes.

“Oh, I´m sorry I forgot what a gentleman you are.”

Thomas laughs at that, lightly punching Alex´ shoulder.

“Watch your mouth.”

“But I´d rather be watching your mouth.”, Alex purrs, pressing up against him.

Thomas shakes his head.

“You really are impossible, let´s go.”

When they step outside it feels a bit surreal and Alex is kind of surprised to see that the sun hasn´t set yet, blinking the brightness away, after the dim light in the museum. Turns out the restaurant they´re eating at is only a few streets away, so they don´t need to take a taxi again. The evening is quite warm for April and the walk there is nice, especially with Thomas´ hand still in his.

“I have a reservation for Jefferson.”, Thomas says to a waiter, after they have entered the restaurant.

The man looks over the list and nods.

“Please follow me, sirs.”

They get led to their table and sit down, the waiter passing them their menus.

“Can I get you something to drink? Some wine maybe?”

Thomas declines and orders instead some fancy sounding French iced tea, while Alex just watches him with a faint smile. It kind of feels impossible; them being here like that. They are so different – a fact that has caused more screaming matches during work than either of them can remember. Technically, it shouldn´t work. It doesn´t make sense that it should work. But when Thomas looks over at him and gives him a warm smile and starts telling Alex about the different meals, he can´t help but think that it kind of does work.

This time Alex is the one suggesting they get a dessert, even if his main motivation is the hope that it´ll end the same way as last night. Judging by the smirk Thomas gives him as he passes Alex the card, he knows exactly why he wants to get dessert. Alex doesn´t care. He choses some ice cream variation and a few minutes later the waiter brings it to their table. It looks just as amazing as everything else here and he nearly melts when Thomas picks up one of the spoons and feeds him some of the ice cream.

“Am I so predictable?”, Alex asks with a smug grin.

Thomas shakes his head, a warm smile on his lips.

“Believe me, darling, you are anything but.”

After they are finished with their meal, Alex proposes to split the bill, but Thomas just looks at him as if he´s lost his mind.

“You are not gonna pay for your dinner on a date I asked you to.”, Thomas says, and his tone of voice makes it clear that he finds it ridiculous that he even needs to say that.

A strange mix of anger and being flattered flares up in Alex.

“You know, I _could_ pay for my own dinner.”, Alex says, a bit sharper than he had planned.

Thomas looks up at him almost immediately.

“I know. If it makes you uncomfortable, we can split the bill, but I´d really like to invite you.”

Alex hesitates a moment before he nods.

“No, it´s okay. I´ll just take you out some other time and pay for the dinner.”

Thomas looks like he wants to say something in response, but gets cut off when the waiter comes to their table again and hands Thomas the bill. After he has payed, they leave the restaurant and step out onto the street. It´s far colder than before and Alex pulls his coat closer around his body, but still can´t supress the shiver. Thomas seems to notice, because he wraps his arm around him, and Alex gladly snuggles against him.

“I´m sad that our date is already over.”, Alex admits.

Thomas kisses his hair and mumbles into his ear: “I mean, you could come back to my place and we can watch a movie.”

Alex nods and lets out a small sigh.

“I would like that.”

On the taxi ride back to Thomas´ flat Alex feels strangely on edge. He doesn´t really know what he should expect when they are alone again, and it makes him nervous. He fidgets in his seat and when he notices Thomas´ eyes on him, he tries to relax more, giving him a reassuring smile.

They get out of the taxi some time later and Alex follows Thomas inside. He is acutely aware how it ended the last time they had taken the elevator upstairs, glancing over at Thomas, who doesn´t seem to be worried at all. Inside the flat Thomas takes off his jacket and hangs it into the hallway and Alex follows suit.

“I´ll go make some tea, you can go into the bedroom and change. The shirt you were wearing is still there. Sweatpants are in the wardrobe on the bottom left.”

Alex nods, and while Thomas walks into the kitchen, he makes his way into the bedroom. He quickly changes into Thomas´ clothes and it feels strange, but also nice. There are slightly too big, but that only makes them more comfortable. They smell like Thomas too and if he enjoys this a bit too much, no one needs to know. He flops down onto the bed and unlocks his phone, texting John a quick update. When he hears steps approaching the bedroom, he puts his phone away and looks up at Thomas.

“What a sight.”, Thomas says, and there is a small hitch in his voice.

Alex just grins up at him and stretches tantalizingly, which causes his t-shirt to ride up and expose some of his stomach. Thomas draws in a sharp breath and quickly puts the cups down on the bedside table, before joining Alex on the bed.

“You are a little tease, huh?”, Thomas whispers, and Alex lets out a groan.

He drags Alex into a heated kiss and Alex´ brain gets foggy as he slings his arms around Thomas´ neck. He lets out a whine when Thomas pulls back after some time, moving a bit away from him.

“So, what movie do you want to watch?”

Alex needs a moment to understand the question and when he does, he just stares at Thomas confused. He is still breathing hard with his heart beating loud and fast in his chest and he sees that Thomas is affected too.

“You can´t be serious.”, Alex says disbelievingly.

Thomas brushes Alex´ hair out of his face.

“We said we´d take it slow.”

“Thomas-“, Alex starts to argue, but he just shakes his head.

“Sometime else, lets watch a movie.”

Alex grumbles a bit, but joins Thomas under the blanket, nonetheless. He curls up in his arm and watches him flip through Netflix. He really wants to sleep with Thomas, but at the same time it´s oddly reassuring that he wants to take it slow.

“You´re already half sleeping, darling.”, Thomas says, his voice startling him out of his thoughts.

“I´m not.”, he gives back stubbornly, even though he feels like he can barely keep his eyes open.

“Are you staying the night?”

Alex shrugs.

“Do you want me to?”

“I do.”

Alex smiles softly.

“Okay, then I am.”

He falls asleep before they can even choose a movie, Thomas´ arm around him making him feel safe.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex notices that his past relationship has left him a bit more messed up than he had thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @goddamnfaith I know I promised you more worried!John, but that´ll have to wait until next chapter I´m sorrrryyy, but I´m pretty sure you can forgive me ❤️

This time when Alex wakes up, he doesn´t panic, but instead snuggles closer to Thomas, who lets out a content sigh. They stay like this for an eternity, Alex drifting in and out of sleep, feeling warm and calm. When Thomas moves after some time, his hair tickles him and he shoves Thomas´ face away, who lets out a small noise of indignation.

“Your hair is annoying.”, Alex mumbles, and Thomas laughs quietly.

“Yesterday you said you like it.”, Thomas gives back.

Alex says something with his face still pressed into Thomas´ chest as an answer, but it´s nothing more than a weird noise.

“What was that, babe?”, Thomas laughs, raking his finger´s through Alex´ hair.

Alex tenses and feels his heart skipping a beat. He knows that Thomas has no way of knowing how much Alex hates being called that, how much it reminds him of his last relationship. He hates that he has to break the comfortable atmosphere, but at the same time it´s important to talk about this. He shuffles a bit away from Thomas so that he can look at him.

“Could you not call me that? Please?”, Alex asks quietly, and Thomas´ face softens instantly.

“Of course. Is it just that pet name or others too?”

“Just that one. My ex used to call me that and… I don´t like it anymore.”

Thomas nods with a sad expression.

“Alright. I´m sorry. If I do or say anything that´s making you uncomfortable just tell me and I will stop immediately, okay?”

Alex relaxes at Thomas´ words and gives him a small smile.

“Thank you. This actually makes me feel a lot better. And I´m sorry that we keep having those conversations.”

Thomas cups his face, softly stroking his cheek with his thumb.

“Don´t apologize. I´m glad we´re having those conversations. I wish we didn´t have to, but I never want to cause you any harm, so we´re gonna have them.”

Alex presses a quick kiss to Thomas´s lips and the other man makes a face.

“Ew, morning breath.”, Thomas says with mock disgust.

Alex hits him against the chest and Thomas laughs, catching his wrist.

“Fuck you.”, Alex says laughing, and kisses Thomas again. “I thought we were having a moment here and you destroyed it. Also, John will kill you if you ever hurt me so be prepared.”

There is a big grin on Alex´ face as he says that.

“That´s fair. Unrelated question: is your ex still alive?”

Alex shrugs.

“I mean, he had to go to the hospital after John found out.”

Thomas nods and pulls Alex closer, pressing a kiss to his hair.

“I´m really glad you have such a good friend.”

“Me too.”, he says honestly.

Alex feels Thomas starting to run his hand through his hair and lets out a content sigh. The rhythmic stroking causes him to fall into sleep like state.

“Alex?”, Thomas asks after some time, and he lets out a sleepy “hm?”.

“You have told John about us. Do you want us to be like completely out or should we wait a bit before we tell our co-workers?”

Alex is quiet a bit, before he answers: “Can we wait and just tell our friends?”

He feels Thomas nod.

“Sure thing, darling. We´re taking it slow. Also, do you mind that I call you ´darling´?”

Alex lets out a chuckle, glad that Thomas can´t see his face which is probably bright red.

“I actually really like it.”, he admits, feeling a bit embarrassed about it.

“I´m glad about that, _darling_.”, Thomas whispers.

The word causes Alex to shudder, pressing himself even closer to the other man.

“God yes, I really, really like that.”, Alex practically moans.

Thomas moves away from him a bit, disentangling himself from Alex.

“Oh, I feel how much you like that, darling. I´m gonna make you breakfast.”

Alex lets out a whine, his face flushed.

“Please, Thomas.”, Alex whimpers, grabbing Thomas´ arm.

“Another time, alright?”, the other man says softly.

Alex lets go of his arm and sits up.

“Do you not want to sleep with me?”, he asks, his voice unsure.

Thomas shakes his head and takes Alex´ hand in his, softly squeezing it.

“You have no idea how much I want to, but we won´t do it now.”

“Why? Is it because of something I did? I can be better. I can be-“, Alex rushes to say, but Thomas interrupts him.

“Alex, stop. You did nothing wrong, okay? I don´t want to rush this.”

The younger man drops his head.

“I´m sorry.”, he says quietly.

“You did nothing wrong.”, Thomas repeats.

“Fuck… I´m so messed up. I though…”, Alex stops and shakes his head at himself. He takes a moment to collect himself, before he looks back up at Thomas and smiles. “You were talking about breakfast?”

He can see the concerned look on Thomas´ face, but ignores it.

“Alex-“, Thomas starts.

“I know. Let´s just eat, okay?”

It looks like Thomas wants to say something else, but at last he simply follows Alex first into the bathroom and then the kitchen. During all that he can feel Thomas´ eyes never leaving him and he tries to look more confident than he feels. They make scrambled eggs together, even though Alex is more of a hindrance than any help. He notices Thomas growing more relaxed again, which soothes him.

“What´s your plan for today?”, Thomas asks, while working around Alex.

“I´m meeting with Laf, Hercules and John. We´re having a game night. Well, more like game afternoon.”

Thomas nods and takes the tomato out of Alex´ hand, before he can eat it.

“Can´t you wait two seconds? And that sounds nice.”

Alex pouts.

“I´m hungry now.”

Thomas groans.

“You are truly impossible when you are hungry.”

Alex grins proudly at that, takes another tomato and eats it, before Thomas can take it away again. The older man just sighs and continues cooking.

“You could join us, if you want.”

Thomas looks up at Alex.

“Hm?”

“The game night. I know you don´t really know Herc and John, but you´re friends with Laf.”

Thomas breaks out into a smile at that and Alex feels a happy flutter in his stomach.

“That´s really nice. I´ve already got plans for today, but next time, if you still want me to go then.”

Alex nods, but can´t help to feel a bit disappointed by it. Thomas seems to notice, because he walks over to him and pulls him in for a kiss.

“Don´t look so sad, we´ve still got a few hours, right?”

Alex gives him a smile and nods.

“Yeah, we´re starting at 4.”

Thomas leans down and kisses Alex again.

“See? I´m having plans for 5, so we have plenty of time.”

Alex nods again and actually feels better about it. He is about to reply, when he smells something.

“Love, your eggs are burning.”

Thomas just stares at him for a moment, before he realises what Alex had meant and spins around, returning to the stove.

“That only ever happens when you are around, you are too goddamn distracting, Alexander.”, Thomas chuckles.

“You totally started it!”

Thomas just rolls his eyes and puts the slightly burned eggs on two plates. He takes the plates, while Alex carries the salt and bread, and walks to the couch.

“Wanna start a tv-show?”, Thomas asks, when he opens Netflix.

“So this is serious, huh?”, Alex asks, nudging Thomas with his shoulder.

Thomas laughs.

“It´s just a tv-show.”

Alex shakes his head.

“Nope. It´s a commitment.”

Thomas shakes his head, smiling at him fondly.

“If you say so.”

“I do.”

After some back and forth they decide to watch some show about interior design and settle down to eat.

“That looks like shit.”, Alex comments after some time, pointing at the tv.

“No, it doesn´t.”, Thomas contradicts.

Alex smirks, and puts his plate down onto the coffee-table.

“You just think that, because it´s purple.”

Thomas shakes his head and pauses the tv, gathering up their dishes.

“It´s not- I´m not that shallow.”

“You literally are.”, Alex calls after him.

Thomas doesn´t even turn around and just gives him the finger.

“Do you have a blanket?”, Alex asks when Thomas comes back, looking up at him with puppy eyes.

Thomas rolls his eyes, takes a blanket out of the trunk next to the couch and throws it at the smaller man´s face, before joining him on the couch.

“Rude.”, Alex comments, but still snuggles up to Thomas once he is settled.

“You are so clingy.”, Thomas says fondly.

Still, Alex freezes instantly and sits back up.

“Is that bad?”, he asks, and it breaks Thomas´ heart.

Thomas shakes his head and pulls him back down.

“No, sweetheart, this is actually pretty amazing.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet the Hamilsquad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay first of all @goddamnfaith, happy birthday, darling! I hope you´ll love this as much as I love you! Also I wouldn´t trade our late night talks for anything and you´ll probably recognize something in this fic, so enjoy❤️

Alex ends up being half an hour late to the game night and he totally blames Thomas for that. Thomas with his comfortable couch and strong arms holding him. So Alex really can´t be blamed for staying longer. After he had finally left Thomas´ flat he still had to go home to change into something more comfortable and left his flat at exactly 4 p.m., while sending a text that he might get there “a little bit late".

He lets himself into John´s flat and walks into the living room, where his three friends are already playing a card game. He sits down between Hercules and John and the later regards him with a knowing look.

“Hello Alexander, so great to join us.”, he says with a wink.

Alex rolls his eyes.

“Shut up, I´m here and that´s all that counts.”

Hercules laughs at that and puts down his last card, while John and Laf protest.

“Why were you even late?”, he asks, ignoring the other two.

Alex takes a deep breath, his heart picking up speed, but before he can say something, John chimes in.

“It really doesn´t matter, let´s play another round.”

Alex is really grateful for John giving him an out, and for a second, he thinks about just leaving it there, but he knows that he can trust them. That doesn´t mean his heart isn´t trying to escape his ribcage, but he shakes his head, nonetheless.

“Thanks John, but it´s alright. I wanted to tell you guys something.”

At that all eyes on the table are on him, and he takes a deep breath, before he starts.

“I was late because I stayed the night at Thomas´ and we kind of forgot the time.”

Laf and Hercules just stare at him for a moment, until finally Hercules breaks the silence.

“You stayed at Thomas Jefferson´s place?”, he asks, and Alex nods.

He looks over at John, who gives him a reassuring smile.

“Yeah, we went on a date yesterday and I kind of fell asleep, so I stayed over.”

“You were on a date with Thomas Jefferson?”, Hercules sounds a bit disbelieving and turns around to look at Laf. “Did you know of this?”

Lafayette shakes his head, looking just as surprised as Hercules.

“No, I did not.”

Hercules looks a bit conflicted, his eyes shifting from Alex to Laf and back.

“Laf I know he´s your friend, but Alex are you sure you´re ready for a new relationship? Especially with Jefferson, I mean you two are always fighting.”

At that Alex can´t help but let out a little laugh.

“It´s different when it´s just the two of us and we´re taking it slow. Thomas is really considerate.”

“Oui, he would never do anything to hurt you.”, Lafayette chimes in. “And John, why don´t you look surprised?”

John looks at Laf with a sheepish smile.

“Because I already knew?”

This causes the other two to erupt into loud protests, while calling them both traitors. Alex smiles at the ridiculousness of the whole situation, glad that his friends are taking the news so well. He knows they will support him no matter what.

“How long exactly have you two been a thing?”, Hercules asks, when they have all calmed down.

“Since like Saturday at 2 a.m.?”

“That´s yesterday.”, Laf states, and Alex nods.

“Yeah. We´re not going public yet, but we decided to tell our friends.”

Hercules smiles warmly at him and pats his shoulder.

“Really hope this is gonna work out for you.”

“Moi aussi.”, Laf says. “How was your date with him?”

Before Alex can answer, though, John takes the cards and starts shuffling.

“He can talk while we´re playing. That way it´s even more plausible that he loses.”

Alex huffs and punches John´s arm.

“You´re gonna fucking regret this.”, Alex says with a mischievous smile. “Let the games begin.”

-

It´s almost midnight when Hercules drops Alex off in front of his flat. He waves his friend goodbye, before he enters the building and takes the elevator upstairs. He takes a quick shower and gets ready for bed, before he texts Thomas that he is home. A moment later his phone vibrates with a call from the other man, and Alex answers it with a smile. Thomas is already lying in bed, his dark hair falling like a halo around him on the pillow.

“How was your game night?”, he asks, with a smile matching Alexander´s.

Alex sits down in his office chair and stretches.

“It was nice, actually. I won a lot.”

Thomas laughs softly at that and shakes his head.

“Of course, you did.”, he says amused.

“And I also told Laf and Hercules about us. I hope this is okay?”

Suddenly he feels unsure about it, fearing that he did something wrong and fucked this up, but when Thomas gives him an encouraging smile, he relaxes.

“How did they react?”, Thomas asks, and Alex is glad that he doesn´t sound angry, but genuinely interested.

“Good. Herc was a bit sceptical, but Laf thinks we´re a good match.”

Thomas laughs quietly.

“Of course, he does. He is so romantic.”, he shakes his head amused. “Must be the French in him.”

Alex laughs softly at that. He talks some more about their game night and Thomas listens intently, asking him questions from time to time.

“How was your afternoon?”, Alex asks after he has finished, and Thomas smiles.

“It was nice. I met with James to see this new action movie.”

Alex´ face falls a bit as he hears James´ name, his heart twisting weirdly in his chest. He hopes Thomas doesn´t notice anything, but of course, he does. He stops talking about the movie, regarding Alex with worried eyes.

“Hey, what is it?”, Thomas asks softly.

Alex shakes his head.

“It´s nothing. Keep talking.”, his voice sounds strange, and Thomas´ expression gets even more worried.

“It´s clearly something.”, Thomas says softly, and Alex casts his eyes down. “Look,”, Thomas continues. “You don´t have to talk about it, but promise me you are okay.”

Alex takes a deep breath and nods, hesitantly looking up at the phone again. He gives Thomas a smile that looks hopefully convincing, even if his heart still feels heavy.

“Yeah I am. It´s nothing, really. Don´t worry.”

For a moment it looks like Thomas wants to question him further, but then he just continues with his story about their afternoon. Alex is a bit distracted, but after a while he manages to fully concentrate on Thomas´ voice.

“Why aren´t you in bed, by the way?”, Thomas asks, after a while and Alex shrugs.

“I´m in my office. I still want to write some stuff, before I go to sleep.”

Thomas just looks at him like he has lost his mind.

“Alex, darling, it´s 1 in the morning. Go to sleep.”

“But-“

“Alex, go to sleep. You´ll thank me tomorrow.”

“Uhm, no? I definitely won´t thank you tomorrow.”, Alex gives back with a smile. “Anyway, I´m hanging up now.”

“I´m not leaving until I know your ass is in bed.”

Alex smirks.

“Oh, you love my ass.”

He can hear Thomas groan.

“Go the fuck to sleep. I´m tired, but I won´t leave until you are in bed.”

Alex smiles at that, a warm feeling flooding his body.

“Fine.”, he grumbles, and gets up. “But you have to buy me lunch tomorrow.”

“Good boy.”, he hears Thomas say quietly.

Alex shivers and nearly runs into the door.

“Fuck off.”, he mumbles and hears Thomas laugh.

He gets into bed, making a show of lying down.

“See I´m in bed. Are you happy now?”

Thomas smiles.

“Actually, I am. I´ll see you tomorrow. Can´t wait for it. Sweet dreams.”

For a moment, Alex struggles not to smile back, while feeling his face blushing.

“Yeah. Sleep well.”, he gives Thomas a shy smile. “I actually can´t wait either.”

“See you tomorrow then.

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

Thomas hangs up and Alex puts the phone down, smiling like an idiot. He turns off the light and cuddles into the blanket. He feels a bit lonely in the bed, after spending the last two nights in Thomas´ arms, but at the same time he feels weirdly light and happy, knowing that he´ll see Thomas soon. He yawns and closes his eyes, falling asleep with a smile on his face.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day back at work ft. Worried!John

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg it´s been so long, idk what happened... but also it´s pretty long so...
> 
> @goddamnfaith, love, I know I should go to sleep, but aren´t you happy that I´ve finished this? And also, I want to talk to you!!

Alex actually feels pretty rested when he enters the office building with his second coffee of the day in his hand. He meets Eliza on his way up and they talk about their weekend, Alex trying to be as vague as possible. He adores her and even though their breakup was on good terms and years back, he still feels weird mentioning new relationships in front of her. They part ways once the elevator doors open, both walking to their offices.

Alex hasn´t even opened his laptop yet, when there´s a knock on the door and John comes into the room. He closes the door behind him, while Alex watches him with raised eyebrows.

“What´s this about?”, Alex asks, leaning back in his chair.

For a moment John seems to be searching for words, opening and closing his mouth a few times, before he sits down on a chair in front of Alexander´s desk.

“Alex, we need to talk about Thomas.”, he says finally.

“Shouldn´t we both be working?”

John just shakes his head.

“This is important. I´m worried about you.”

“John, I´m fine.”

“You were ´fine´ the last time too, and then-“

“I _know_ what happened, okay?!”, Alex interrupts, his tone a bit sharper than intended. “I was there!”

“Well you didn´t get a call from you best friend on Christmas Eve-“

Alex feels his heart skipping a beat and anger starting to boil inside him.

“Stop.”, Alex basically screams. “You promised we´d never talk about this.”

He can hear the hurt and desperation in his voice and he hates it.

John raises his arms defensively.

“Alex-”, he tries again, but the smaller man just shakes his head.

“No. We won´t talk about it. Just stop.”, Alex says firmly, glaring at his best friend.

John nods, his shoulders sagging and he lets out a sad sigh.

“Okay. I´m sorry for bringing it up. I´m just… scared.”

John sounds so lost and sad that it breaks Alex´ heart. He feels his heart staring to slow down again, the anger leaving him. He feels horrible for having screamed at John.

“I know you are worried.”, Alex says, softer this time. “And you have every right to be, but I promise you Thomas is not like him.”

“I just don´t want you to be hurt again, Lex.”, John says quietly.

“I know.”

They are quiet for a moment, before John sighs again.

“Look, I´m not saying you shouldn´t see Thomas, all I´m saying is that you should take it slow.”

“We are taking it slow.”, Alex insists. “And I tried to get him to sleep with me every chance I got.”

John laughs softly, but shakes his head.

“I don´t mean it like that. I mean that you´ve already spent two nights at his place. Just… take it slow and be careful.”

Alex nods.

“I will.”, he hesitates a moment, before he walks around the table. “I´m sorry I yelled at you.”

John shakes his head and gets up from the chair, touching his arm.

“I know. It´s okay.”

Alex shakes his head, wraping his arms around John, holding on tight.

“I´m so glad that you´re my best friend, Jacky.”, he mumbles.

Before John can say anything in response though, there is a knock on the door. Alex jumps startled, and lets go of John, stepping back.

“Come in.”, he says, moving to sit behind his desk again.

The door opens, and Thomas steps in. His gaze shifts from Alex to John, and Alex could swear that his smile turns a bit shy.

“Hi John.”, Thomas says, and John nods at him.

“Hello Thomas.”

For a moment they just look at each other, until Alex clears his throat.

“I gotta go, see ya later, Alex.”, with that John walks past Thomas.

Alex can see that his best friend hisses something at Thomas, but it´s too quiet for him to understand.

“Bye John.”, Alex calls after him.

As soon as the door closes, Alex is out of his chair and walks over to Thomas, who meets him halfway. Alex´ hands find their way into Thomas´ hair, while the older man rests his on his hips, pulling him closer. For a moment they stay like this, their faces just inches apart, smiling at each other. Alex moves first, never taking his time, and connects their lips in a gentle kiss. He can feel Thomas laughing softly into it, and disentangles one of his hands from his hair, hitting his arm lightly, before pulling back.

“Asshole, stop that, there´s nothing funny about me kissing you.”

That just makes Thomas grin wider and Alex punches his arm again, even if it´s still too light to hurt.

“Good morning to you too, darling.”

Alex grumbles something, but it gets lost in another kiss, and yeah, Alex could live with that. After a bit Alex breaks the kiss, whereas reluctantly, and leans back a bit, so that he can look Thomas in the eyes.

“What did John say to you?”, he asks, remembering the scene from before.

Thomas shakes his head smiling.

“He just told me he´d kill me if I hurt you, so nothing new.”

Alex nods, having already suspected something like that.

“Yeah, he´s… he´s still worried.”

Thomas smiles sadly at him, his thumb gently caressing Alexander´s cheek.

“I can imagine that. I have only seen bits of how much it still affects you and don´t know the whole story, but it…”, he trails off, getting lost in thought. “He has every right to be worried about you. And I don´t think that´ll change soon.”

“I know.”, Alex mumbles.

Thomas presses a last kiss to Alex´ lips, before he takes a step back.

“I´ll let you get back to work. Meet you at one p.m., alright?”

When Alex looks at him with raised eyebrows Thomas smiles.

“You made me promise to buy you lunch yesterday.”

“It was a joke, you don´t have to.”

“I know, but still.”

Alex is quiet for a moment, before he says: “Where will we meet?”

“I´ll get you?”

“Okay. See you.”

Thomas hesitates a moment, but when Alex pointedly doesn´t look at him, he opens the door and walks out. It takes Alex longer than usual to get lost in his work, his thoughts still revolving around his earlier conversation with John. He knows that he has overreacted, knows he can´t blame John for being worried, because he would be too, would he be in his place. Still, he hates the feeling of helplessness and shame that come back to him whenever they have this kind of conversation. He shakes his head to rid himself of those thoughts, trying to concentrate on the email from Washington. As he types an answer, he can feel something in him settling, the familiar routine of work bringing him back to himself and he manages to concentrate completely on it.

He doesn´t notice the time passing, looking up confused when Thomas appears in his office once again.

“What are you doing here?”, he asks, glancing up at Thomas for a second, before he continues typing.

“We´re going to lunch, remember?”

Alex stops in his tracks, looking at the clock.

“When did it get so late?”

He hears Thomas chuckle and looks up, giving him a smile.

“Just gonna finish this paragraph and then I´m good to go, alright?”

“See how he lies.”, is all Thomas says in response.

Alex wraps his work up half an hour later, torn between wanting to finish his paper and spending time with Thomas. Thomas doesn´t try to get him to hurry up, simply alternating between looking through his office and watching him with the fondest expression, that makes Alex blush whenever he catches his eye.

“I´m done.”, Alex says finally, pushing his chair back.

“You sure?”

Thomas turns around to him from where he is looking through his bookshelf, and Alex nods.

“Also, I kinda forgot to eat breakfast, so I´m starving.”, Alex confesses, looking at Thomas with a sheepish grin.

“How do you forget to have breakfast?”, Thomas asks, with a worried undertone in his voice.

Alex shrugs.

“I almost never do, it´s not a big deal.”

Thomas shakes his head.

“It is.”, Thomas insists, but Alex just huffs.

He feels uncomfortable with this conversation and is getting a bit irritated.

“Leave it be.”, he says firmly, and Thomas seems to notice that pressing further won´t do anything good, so he just nods.

They make their way to the elevator, Alex still tense.

“Alex?”, Thomas asks softly, after the elevator doors have closed behind them.

For a moment he doesn´t react, just staring at the wall in front of him.

“Just give me a minute, okay? This day has been… something.”, he says finally, and Thomas nods.

Alex has been on edge ever since the conversation with John in the morning and Thomas´ reaction to him not eating breakfast has just reminded him a bit too much of the controlling demeanour of his ex. John´s plead to be careful comes to his mind again and he glances at Thomas. Maybe he is taking this too fast. Maybe he should keep his distance. Maybe he is a fool to trust Thomas. He shakes his head slightly to get rid of those thoughts. Thomas hasn´t done anything to make Alex question him, hell, it was his idea to take things slow. Alex feels himself leaving this dark headspace and when the elevator stops, they get out and he turns to look at Thomas, giving him a small smile. Thomas visibly relaxes as he smiles back.

“Do you want to go anywhere particular, or?”, Alex asks and Thomas shrugs.

“I don´t really care, lead the way.”

Alex goes through the different options for a moment.

“Have you ever been to Charleston?”

Thomas looks at him confused.

“You mean the city?”

Alex laughs and shakes his head.

“No, the restaurant. It´s 20s themed and the food´s really great.”

“I haven´t.”

Alex smiles.

“I figured. Wanna go there?”

When Thomas nods, he starts walking down the street, with the other man following. After they have been walking for some time and after an internal debate on Alexander´s side, Alex grabs Thomas´ hand, intertwining their fingers. His heart is beating loud and fast in his chest, but he calms down a bit, when Thomas squeezes his hand gently.

“Is that okay?”, Alex asks quietly, and Thomas nods smiling.

“More than okay.”

Alex smiles at that, feeling the last of the tension from before leaving his body. He starts talking about some story of their game night he had forgotten to tell Thomas about, and Thomas listens interested, laughing at the right times. Alex is still in the middle of it, when they arrive at the restaurant, and enter it.

Although Alex has been here a few times before, he feels like he´s stepping into a different time. There are big chandeliers above the tables and the dark leather couches and chairs, with black and white pictures of dancers on the wall. Alex choses to sit at a table in the back, noting with some kind of pride that Thomas seems to be impressed by the restaurant.

“Can´t believe I´ve never been here.”, Thomas says. “I thought James and I had visited every restaurant close to the office.”

Alex tenses again and opens the menu, ignoring Thomas´ statement. He knows that it´s childish and that Thomas has no way of knowing how Alex feels about hearing James´ name, but he can´t help himself. Luckily, Thomas doesn´t seem to notice Alexander´s distress or if he does, he doesn´t acknowledge it and instead picks up the menu as well, asking Alex on his opinions on the different meals. Alex feels himself relaxing again, happy to shake off the feeling of unease.

“Are you feeling better now?”, Thomas asks, after they have ordered.

Alex nods, giving him a bright smile.

“I actually am.”, he answers sincerely. “Sorry, I don´t know what happened earlier.”

Thomas shakes his head.

“Don´t apologize. It´s okay to not have a great day once in a while.”

Alex is silent for a moment, fiddling with his fork.

“It´s not really that. But I don´t want to talk about it now. Some other time, okay?”

Alex can see the worry on Thomas´ face, but at last he nods.

“Whenever you´re ready.”

Their conversation about movies feels forced at the beginning, but soon they get back to their usual banter. Alex is just talking about his theory for the ending of Inception, when the waiter brings them their food. They start eating and Alex just goes on about the movie.

“Yeah, that´s a nice theory, but it´s bullshit.”, Thomas says, when Alex is finished.

“Excuse me? My arguments are flawless.”

Thomas laughs.

“Sure.”

They argue back and forth about it for the rest of their lunch, until they have to go back to work. Alex is about to take out his wallet, when he notices that it´s not in the pocket of his trousers. He feels an irrational fear spreading through his body as he remembers that he has left it on the office table.

“Is everything alright?”, Thomas asks, and Alex looks up at him.

“I forgot my wallet.”, he says quietly.

Thomas shrugs.

“I was gonna pay for it anyway.”

“And I told you, you don´t have to.”, Alex says, but it comes out sharper than he had intended. He closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath. “Sorry, it´s just, I can pay for my own meal and I don´t need you to pay for everything.”

Thomas nods.

“I know that you can, but it makes me happy to invite you for lunch, and it´s really not that big of a deal. You can just return the favour some other time. But if it makes you that uncomfortable, you can pay me back in the office.”

Alex is silent for a moment, his eyes fixed on the table spread, before he looks back up at Thomas.

“I just don´t want you to think I´m in it for the money.”

Thomas actually looks surprised at that.

“Alex, I would never think that. I know it´s not true.”

“Okay.”, Alex says quietly, but it actually makes him feel better about it.

Thomas pays for their meal and Alex doesn´t really mind that much, now that he knows it´s okay for him. He grabs his hand as they walk out and lets Thomas do the talking on their way back. He only listens half-heartedly, though, too caught up in his own mind. He lets go of Thomas´ hand as they get closer to the office, instantly missing the grounding feeling of it. They are alone in the elevator, so Alex uses it to press a quick kiss to Thomas´ lips, before they have to get out.

“Are you alright?”, Thomas asks, when they stop in front of Alex´ office.

Alex nods.

“Yeah, just a bit… you know… off. But I´m fine.”

Thomas gives him a smile.

“See you later, then?”

“Yeah, see you later.”

Alex watches Thomas walk away for a moment, before he enters his office, opening the laptop. He still finds it hard to actually concentrate on his work, and he has to rewrite the same sentences over and over again. He is getting frustrated and his inability to concentrate irritates him. He is about to do something stupid, like throw his laptop out of the window, when he sees that he just got an email from Thomas. The subject read “Made me think of you💕” and there is a link attached. He opens it and it leads him to a drawing of a cat with the text “I may be violent, but I´m short, so it´s adorable”. Alex chuckles softly and safes it, before writing Thomas back.

“Fuck you, I´m not short. (But also, that made me smile so thanks)”

It´s easier to concentrate on work after that, and Alex feels himself getting lost in his writing again, until a knock on his door breaks the spell once more.

“Come in.”, he says absentmindedly.

“It´s late, you should go home.”, Thomas says.

Alex looks up at him, then at the time and is surprised to see it´s already half past six. He looks over at the speech he is writing and decides he can finish it at home. He quickly packs his stuff, while Thomas waits for him.

“Do you want to stay the night at my place again?”, Thomas asks, after some time, his voice sounding a bit unsure.

Alex´ first instinct is to immediately say yes, because he really wants to, but John´s warning comes to his mind and he hesitates. Maybe he is right, and he should take it slow.

“I have some stuff to do at home, maybe next time, okay?”, he says finally, and Thomas nods.

“Okay, want to share a taxi home?”, Thomas asks as they walk to the elevator.

Alex rolls his eyes.

“We´re living in two completely different directions and I´m taking the subway.”

Thomas laughs and hugs Alex from the side.

“It was worth a shot, though.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Office policy says that all relationships between co-workers have to be reportet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @goddamnfaith credits to you for the name of the house plant! Absolutely love it haha. And hey, another chapter I didn´t write in the middle of the night (most of it at least)

Alex ends up sleeping through his alarm, which may be because he had only gone to sleep three hours ago. He wakes up too late and doesn´t even have time to grab a coffee on his way to work. He somehow manages to get to work only half an hour late and when he finally enters his office, he finds a cup of coffee and a muffin on his desk. He smiles at the post-it-note stuck to it that reads “Morning, darling. Can´t wait to kick your ass in the meeting. ♡”. Alex takes it off and sticks it to the pot of his house plant – Hercules had named it Pasta Plate – and picks up the coffee, taking a long sip from it. It´s already cold, but he drinks it nonetheless, while checking his emails and eating the banana muffin. After he has answered all urgent emails and finished his muffin and coffee, he has nothing to do that can´t wait, so he decides to pay Thomas a visit. The meeting is scheduled for after his lunchbreak, so he will have plenty of time to edit his speech.

He knocks on Thomas´ office door a few moments later, entering when he hears a “come in”.

“Thanks for the coffee.”, Alex says as a greeting.

Thomas grins.

“I really shouldn´t support your coffee addiction, but I also know you´re not a functional human being, so…”

“Fuck off. I don´t have a coffee addiction. And I function just fine.”, Alex gives back, mock-pouting.

“Right.”

Thomas gets up from his chair and walks over to Alex, brushing his hair behind his ear.

“You look tired, how many hours did you sleep?”, he asks softly.

Instead of an answer, Alex buries his face in Thomas´ shirt, wrapping his arms loosely around his waist. Alex feels like he can barely hold his eyes open, and the feeling of warmth and safety from Thomas´ hug doesn´t really help this matter. They stay like this for some time, until Thomas gently pushes him away and leans against the office table.

“As much as I love this, you really can´t fall asleep on me.”, Thomas says, and Alex rolls his eyes.

“Wasn´t gonna.”

“Liar.”, Thomas says fondly.

Alex rolls his eyes and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“Don´t I get a good morning kiss?”

Thomas laughs, pulling Alex against him once more, while still leaning against the table.

“You´d like that?”

“Yes.”, Alex answers, hating that he sounds so breathless.

Thomas chuckles softly, before leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss to Alex´ lips.

“Hey!”, Alex protests almost immediately. “That wasn´t a real kiss.”

“Oh wasn´t it?”, Thomas asks teasingly.

“You are an asshole.”

“Do you think I have a kink for that or something? Because-“, but Alex doesn´t let him finish, instead pulling his head down for a proper kiss.

“I should really get back to working.”, Thomas mumbles after some time, but holds Alex still close.

“Can I stay for a bit, I don´t really have anything to do.”

“If you promise not to be distracting.”

Alex just grins and presses another kiss against Thomas´ lips, before moving to sit down on the couch under the window. Thomas rolls his eyes before taking a seat behind his desk again. Alex watches him for some time, and he can´t really comprehend that this is actually happening. He lets his mind drift and feels his eyes slipping close.

“Alex.”, Thomas voice startles him out for his doze, and he sits back up. “Shouldn´t you go back to your own office?”

Alex shrugs.

“Probably.”

He gets up and stretches, giving Thomas a smug smile.

“Your couch is really uncomfortable.”

“Get your ass out of here.”, Thomas chuckles.

Alex blows him a kiss and is nearly out of the door, when he turns around again and walks over to the desk.

“Wait, I just remembered, should we tell Washington about us, because of the office policy?”

Thomas nods slowly.

“I suppose we should. Are you comfortable with that? If not, we can surely wait for some time.”

Alex shrugs.

“No, no, it´s alright.”

“You sure?”

Alex really isn´t, but he nods nonetheless, giving Thomas a reassuring smile.

“Of course.”

“Then we´ll do it after the meeting?”

“Okay.”

Thomas gives him a smile.

“I´m meeting James for lunch, do you want to join us?”

Alex shakes his head, maybe a bit too forceful.

“No, thank you. I´m already meeting with someone else.”, he ads to deflect, hoping Thomas will buy it.

He thinks about adding a “maybe next time”, but then Thomas would expect him to go, and he really doesn´t want that. Luckily, Thomas just nods.

“Okay, we´ll see each other in the meeting then.”, Thomas says. “Oh and Alex, about the meeting, I know we´re not always on the same page about this stuff and I won´t go easy on you just because we´re dating, but nothing I say has anything to do with us, okay?”

Alex hadn´t expected them to suddenly agree on everything, they are both too stubborn and passionate for that, and none of them would alter their believes, but Alex appreciates it a lot that Thomas wants to make sure he´s okay.

“I know, but thanks.”

He hesitates a moment, before he rounds the table, dropping down in Thomas´ lap and wrapping his arms around Thomas´ neck. Thomas looks surprised for a second, but his hands find Alexander´s hips almost automatically, keeping him in place.

“You know that someone could just walk in on us, right?”, Thomas asks.

Alex doesn´t answer him, instead pressing a kiss to his lips. He feels Thomas holding him tighter and for a moment he just gets lost in the kiss, before he pulls back.

“Sorry for yesterday.”

There is confusion written all over Thomas´ face.

“What are you talking about?”

Alex shrugs.

“You are always so nice, and I was…. I don´t know… I snapped at you and…”

“Alex.”, Thomas interrupts him softly. “You don´t need to apologize for having a bad day or not being in a good mood.”

“Okay.”, Alex says quietly.

He rests his head against Thomas´ chest, doing his best to just enjoy the moment and not overthink everything.

“Are you alright?”, Thomas asks, after some time.

“This is nice.”, Alex gives back, not really answering the question.

He feels the laugh vibrating through Thomas´ body more than he hears it. Alex presses a last kiss to the other man´s jaw, before getting up again.

“I´ll head back and let you actually get some work done.”, he announces. “Maybe then you´ll even come close to beating me in the meeting.”

Thomas shakes his head.

“This isn´t even a competition. There won´t be a winner.”

“There always is a winner, and it´s me.”

With that he opens the door, almost running into Washington, who looks just as surprised to see him as he is.

“Alexander, what are you doing here?”, he asks.

Washington looks him up and down, and Alex has the impression that his boss can look right through him and knows exactly what he has been doing.

“Uhm we were just going through some stuff for the meeting.”, he says, looking back at Thomas.

Washington nods.

“I actually wanted to talk to you two about the meeting, so it´s good to meet you both here. Do you have a minute?”

“Of course, sir.”, Alex answers for both of them, taking a step back to let Washington into the office.

Washington gestures for Alex to take a seat, while he himself remains standing.

“I have an important interview to attend this afternoon, so we will have to postpone the meeting. That-“

“But sir.”, Alex interrupts. “We need to make this decision today.”

Washington nods.

“I am well aware of that. That´s why I wanted to talk to you about it. I want you to work together for once and work out a compromise and present it to me when I get back. If I don´t like it, the deal´s off the table. Can you do that?”

Thomas and Alex share a look, before they both nod tentatively.

“Very well. I´ll see you at 5 then.”

Washington is almost out of the door when Alex calls him back again.

“Actually, sir, there is another thing we wanted to talk to you about.”

Alex is impressed at how steady his voice sounds, while his heart feels like it´s trying to break out of his chest, with how fast it is beating.

Washington stops and looks back and forth between them with raised eyebrows.

“What is it?”

“Thomas and I are dating.”, he says, before he can think better of it.

For a moment there is an expression of surprise on Washington´s face, before he smiles at them.

“I am happy for you, even though I have to confess that this comes as a bit of a surprise for me.”

Thomas chuckles softly.

“We get that a lot.”

Washington nods.

“I will send you the required forms to fill out and hope this won´t influence your professionalism.”, Washington lets out a short laugh and shakes his head. “Or maybe this will finally cause the meetings to be more civil.”

Alex smirks.

“I don´t think we can promise you that, sir.”

Washington nods.

“I feared that you would say that. I will see you in a few hours.”

He leaves them alone, and for a moment they are silent.

“I´m gonna get my laptop.”, Alex announces and gets up, walking over to the door.

“Hey, wait.”, Thomas calls after him, and Alex stops and turns around to look at him. “Are you alright?”

Alex nods and gives him a smile.

“I am.”

And this time, it´s not even a lie.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Aaron Burr.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @goddamnfaith, you know I love you, right? And you love me, so pls don´t kill me

Miraculously, the first two and a half hours of their discussion are rather civil, and they manage to agree on some parts of the project. It´s only when they get to the financial part, that things start to get a bit heated.

“All I´m saying, Thomas, is that you should at least try to see this from my perspective.”, Alex says, gesturing wildly with his arms, while walking up and down in front of Thomas´ desk.

“I would, but you´re like really tiny, and those pants are new, and I don´t want to ruin them by kneeling down.”

Alex glares at him.

“I will end you.”

Thomas just smirks, while Alex pouts, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“I´m not tiny, you are just fucking huge.”

He regrets the words almost as soon as they leave his mouth, his face turning red, while Thomas just laughs.

“Shut up.”, he whines.

“Oh, no. I will never let you live that one down.”

Alex shakes his head.

“You are the worst and I hate you.”

Thomas just laughs more, while Alex is still pouting, his cheeks hot from embarrassment.

“We should really get back to work.”, he says after some time, and Thomas nods, still smirking.

“Try and convince me then.”

This time it´s Alex who smirks and walks around the table, pushing Thomas´ chair back, and draping himself over his lap.

“Are you trying to seduce me to support your financial plan for the project?”, Thomas asks amused, and Alex shrugs.

“Is it working?”, he asks innocently.

Thomas shakes his head.

“Absolutely not.”

Alex chuckles.

“It was worth a shot though.”

He makes a move to stand up, but Thomas pulls him down again, holding him in place.

“We should take a short break, don´t you think?”, Thomas asks, his breath ghosting over Alex´ skin, making him shiver.

“Hmmm, I guess I could be persuaded.”

Thomas laughs softly, pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

“Like that?”

“Yeah that was a good start, but I think you should try harder the next time.”

“So ungrateful.”, Thomas chuckles.

This time Thomas kisses Alex with more force, and he will never admit it, but his mind goes a bit hazy. It´s not surprising, that neither of them hears the door opening, only noticing that they aren´t alone anymore at Burr´s “what the fuck?” and the door slamming shut again. Alex instantly pushes himself away from Thomas without even thinking about it, which causes him to lose his balance. There is a moment when he thinks that he´ll manage to stay on Thomas´ lap, but then he feels himself falling. The back of his head bangs against something hard – probably Thomas´ desk – and then he´s on the ground, with both his butt and head hurting.

“Alex, are you alright?!”, Thomas asks frantically, who is suddenly kneeling in front of him.

Thomas carefully touches the back of his head, probably looking if he´s bleeding – which he is not.

“I´m fine.”, he reassures, shrugging Thomas hands off.

He allows the other man to help him to his feet, and back into the chair, because even if he´s not bleeding, he is still a bit dizzy.

“Don´t you know how to knock?”, he asks Burr, who still stands awkwardly in the door.

“I did!”, he protests. “It´s not my fault you were… otherwise occupied.”

“What did you want anyway?”, Thomas chimes in, his voice bordering on unfriendly.

“Uhm… Washington sent me a text to see if you were working together or just fighting, but it seems like you´ve managed to come to an arrangement.”

Alex can feel Thomas tense at that.

“This has nothing to do with our work.”, Thomas says coldly.

Burr nods, looking even more uncomfortable.

“I didn´t mean it like that. I´ll let you get back to work. I hope you´re okay, Alex.”

“Please don´t tell anyone.”, Alex rushes to say, and Burr turns around again.

“Of course not.”, he promises.

It looks like he wants to say something else too, but then he just turns around, leaving them alone again.

“He looked a bit traumatised.”, Thomas states, and Alex nods.

“He did, didn´t he?”, Alex says amused, chuckling softly. “Poor Burr.”

Thomas smiles at him and brushes a stray strand of hair, that has escaped his bun, behind his ear.

“How´s your head?”

Alex rolls his eyes.

“My head is fine.”

It´s not even a lie. He can feel it pulsing with pain where he hit it, but it´s manageable.

“Are you sure?”

“Thomas, I´m fine, really. Don´t worry. It hurts a bit, but it´s not too bad.”

“Should I get you painkillers?”

“No, thanks. I will tell you when it gets worse.”

After a moment Thomas nods.

“Let´s make a deal alright? I agree to your financial plan and you give me my headquarters in DC for this project.”

“No one likes DC.”

“People _do_ like it, and you _know_ DC would work better for this project than New York.”

Alex does know that Thomas is right, but at the same time he really doesn´t want to give him this; it feels far too much like losing.

“Fine.”, he grumbles after a moment. “But I´m not happy about it.”

Thomas lets out a huff.

“Of course, you aren´t.”

He grabs Alexander´s hands and pulls him up. At his questioning look, Thomas explains: “You can lie down a bit, while I write down the summary for the project.”

“So that you can change the things we agreed on and that you don´t want? Absolutely not.”

Thomas rolls his eyes.

“No. Because you hit your head and should rest. I will let you proofread it, before we show it to Washington, don´t worry.”

“Thomas, I said I´m fine, really.”

“I know.”, he hesitates a moment. “Look how about we both sit down on the couch and you can watch me while I write?”

Alex lets out a dramatic sigh.

“Fine.”, he tentatively agrees, but he is secretly glad that he doesn´t have to concentrate too much.

The combination of too little sleep and the headache from his fall make him a bit dizzy, and he is glad when he gets to sit down again. Thomas joins him a minute later with his laptop, and Alex rests his head against his shoulder while he types.

“That paragraph is shit.”, he mumbles after watching Thomas for some time.

“It isn´t.”

“It is.”, Alex insists. “You used the word ´utter´ five times. Who does that?”

“Shut up, you little shit.”, Thomas says, but at last he changes the paragraph with Alexander´s directions.

They work like that for some time, until there is a knock on the door. Alex sits up straighter and shuffles a bit away from Thomas, when the other man calls “Come in!”, while keeping his eyes on the page of the laptop.

“Are you ready to go for lunch?”, James asks, as he comes in, and Alex tenses.

“Oh, hi Alex.”, he adds when he sees him, and Alex gives him a small wave. “Are you joining us?”

“No, thank you. Actually, I gotta go, see you Thomas.”

“Hey, wait.”, Thomas says, catching his hand as he´s about to stand up. “James, can you give us a minute?”

The other man nods and steps outside again, closing the door behind him. Thomas puts the laptop away and turns around so that he is facing Alex on the couch. He is reminded of their conversation after the first night at Thomas´ place, which makes him even more nervous.

“Alex, what´s the matter?”

“Nothing. What are you talking about?”

“Don´t play stupid. Do you really think I haven´t noticed how you react every time I mention James?”

“I don´t do that.”, Alex insists, even though he knows that´s a lie.

“You do and you _know_ it.”

“I don´t want to talk about it.”

“Alex, we have to. James is my best friend.”

“I know, okay?!”, he says loudly.

“Hey.”, Thomas says softly, taking his hands in his and squeezing them. “Calm down, okay?”

Alex just stares down that their hands, without saying anything for some time.

“Did he tell you that we used to be friends?”, Alex says finally.

He looks up at Thomas, who seems to be surprised to hear that.

“No, he didn´t. I didn´t know that.”

Alex nods, having almost suspected that.

“We worked on a project together last summer, when you were away in France, and got pretty close.”, he shrugs, but before he can continue, the door gets opened again.

“Sorry to interrupt, but Thomas, we really gotta go.”, James says.

“Wait-“, Thomas starts to say, but before he can finish Alex chimes in.

“It´s okay, we´ll talk later.”

“Alex-“

“I promise I´m okay and we will talk later. Just come to my office when you´re back.”

Thomas still doesn´t look convinced, but Alex just presses a kiss to his lips, quickly grabs his laptop and is out of the door, before Thomas can really react. He hurries to his office, locks the door behind him and sinks to the ground, burying his face in his hands.

“Fuck.”, he whispers, his voice nearly cracking.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is once again a mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I stay up until 4 writing this, instead of my paper for law school? You´ll never know... (@goddamnfaith, I´m sorry love! I knew I said I´d go to bed earlier)  
> @gagakuma, are you ready for tears? And just to be clear nothing here is my fault!

Alex is still sitting on the ground in his office, when there is a knock on the door above his head. He flinches, even though he knew that it was coming. He reluctantly gets up and opens the door, ready to fall into the arms of his best friend. Instead of John though, Thomas is standing in front of the door, looking at him with open worry.

“What are you doing here?”, Alex asks. “You should be at lunch with James.”

He can´t help the bitter tone when he says the other man´s name, which only makes Thomas furrow his brows.

“Did you really think I´d just go to lunch with James and leave you alone after this?”

Alex shrugs, remaining silent, while staring past Thomas.

“Can I come in?”

Alex shrugs again, but at last he steps back, allowing Thomas to enter his office. He closes the door behind him and leads Alex to the small couch in the corner, on which Alex had spent countless night, when he didn´t have the energy to go back to his flat.

“What happened between James and you? He never told me you were close.”

Alex lets out a huff.

“Of course, he didn´t. It… it didn´t end good.”

“Alex, I-“, but before Thomas can finish, the door gets opened and John comes in.

“What happened?”, John asks, concern clearly showing on his face.

Then his eyes fall on Thomas and his expression darkens.

“What did you do?”, his voice is dangerously low.

The anger is almost radiating from him, and Alex grabs Thomas´ hand tighter, as he shakes his head.

“I didn´t do anything.”, Thomas says calmly, glancing over to Alex.

“Bullshit. Alex, what happened?”, John says again, a note of fear creeping into his voice.

Alex closes his eyes for a moment and shakes his head again.

“Thomas didn´t do anything. I´ll explain it later, okay?”

John is about to respond, when Thomas touches Alexander´s arm lightly, and turns his attention to him.

“I´ll give you two a minute, alright? And then we´ll talk.”, he says quietly.

Alex glances back to his best friend, and nods. At Alexander´s confirmation, Thomas gets up and presses a kiss to his head, before he leaves the two men alone. John still looks after him suspiciously, but then he walks over to Alex, taking Thomas´ place.

“Did he do anything to hurt you?”, John asks, the pain obvious in his voice.

Alex shakes his head and lets out a sigh.

“No. It´s not Thomas, it´s… James.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I thought he knew.”

Alex shakes his head again, staring down at his hands.

“He doesn´t. James didn´t tell him and neither did I.”, he looks up at John, the fear obvious in his eyes. “What if he chooses James over me? John, I really like him, what if he doesn´t want me after that. James is his best friend and… fuck I´m an idiot for starting something with him. You were right. It was obvious that I´ll be hurt from the beginning.”

It pains Alex to say it out loud, because it somehow makes it more real, but at the same time he feels relieved for finally admitting this to someone. But John shakes his head, softly squeezing Alex´ hands.

“I don´t think he´ll chose anyone and I don´t think he´ll end this with you. I hate to admit it, but I think I was wrong about him. He seems to really care about you, which is great, and you deserve that, but if he does hurt you, I will kill him.”

Alex chuckles softly, freeing his hands, so that he can pull John into an embrace.

“Thank you, you´re a great friend.”

“I know, right?”

Alex just rolls his eyes.

“You really are.”

He moves back after a bit, giving John an uncertain smile.

“It´s gonna be okay, right?”

John nods.

“I hope so, Lexi.”

They are silent for a moment, before John squeezes his hands again.

“Ready to talk to him?”

Alex nods reluctantly and John gets up.

“I´m just a call away, if you need me, or you can just come to my office.”

Alex nods again.

“Okay. Thank you.”

“Sure thing.”

As Alex watches John go, he feels the urge to call him back and just curl up in his arms, avoiding this conversation forever, which isn´t like him at all. He fights against it though, fidgeting on the couch as he waits for Thomas, who comes in a few moments after John has left him alone. He closes the door behind him again and looks over at Alex with an uncertain smile.

“Does John still hate me?”

Alex chuckles and shakes his head.

“I don´t think he does.”

Thomas sits down on the couch again, and Alex instantly cuddles against him, hiding his face in the other man´s shirt. Thomas´ arms curl around him, holding him close. A tiny voice in his head tells him that this will be the last time Thomas will hold him like this, which he tries to ignore, but he still lets out a sad sigh.

“So, you and James?”, Thomas asks after some time.

“Yeah, me and James.”

They are silent for some time again, during which Alex tries to think of how to explain everything. He is glad that Thomas doesn´t rush him, and just keeps on stroking his head.

“Okay, so…”, he starts, stopping again when he feels his eyes burn with tears. He feels ridiculous.

“Take your time.”

Alex nods, sniffling quietly.

“Fuck. I´m just scared that you won´t want me after that.”

“Alex, I´m sure this won´t change anything.”

“You can´t promise that.”

“I know.”

He takes a deep shuddering breath.

“Fuck, I´m such a mess.”

“Yeah, my mess.”, Thomas mumbles against his hair, and Alex chuckles softly.

“Okay, so James and I started to work on this one project last year, when you were off in France. John wasn´t there either, so both of our best friends were gone. We really hit it off and got like pretty close. This went on for a few weeks and then I got together with my ex. James always told me that he didn´t like him and that I should break up with him, but I didn´t want that. We had a pretty big fight and I said some really shitty things to him. I actually hurt him a lot. I… I wanted to apologize but my ex kept telling me I shouldn´t and when it was over, there had already so much time, that it felt stupid to even say anything and I´m sure he hates me and I can understand if you do too now. I feel really bad about it and-“

“Alex.”, Thomas says softly, and the younger man stops talking. “I don´t hate you.”

Alex feels almost lightheaded with relief.

“You don´t?”, he asks, just to be sure.

Thomas moves back a bit, so that he can look Alex in the eyes.

“I don´t.”, he confirms.

He leans forward, pressing a long and lingering kiss to Alex´ lips.

“Okay, that´s… good.”, Alex says eloquently.

“And I don´t think James hates you either.”

Alex looks down at his hands, nervously picking at the skin around his fingernails, until Thomas grabs them, keeping a secure hold on them.

“Do you think I can fix it?”, Alex asks, a hopeful note in his voice.

“I think you two should talk, yes.”

“But why didn´t he say anything to you about this?”

“I don´t know.”

Alex nods.

“Okay.”

Silence settles over them again, but this time it´s not as tense as before, Alex´ heart still feeling light. Thomas starts to draw nonsensical patterns on his hands and arms, and Alex giggles quietly. He smiles as him and is about to say something, when the loud growl of Thomas´ stomach breaks the silence. Alex laughs, and Thomas smiles a bit self-consciously, raking his fingers through his hair.

“I didn´t eat anything since breakfast, and that was hours ago.”, he justifies himself.

“Want to grab some sushi from the snack stand downstairs?”

Thomas arches an eyebrow.

“You actually eat there?”

Alex rolls his eyes.

“Yes, you snob. It´s close, cheap, the owner is nice, and it tastes good.”

“I´m not a snob.”, Thomas argues.

“You are, Thomas. You are the definition of a snob. There is a picture in the dictionary of you next to the word.”

“Fuck off.”

“Fuck off yourself.”

Thomas still follows Alex to the elevator, who types a message, telling John that everything is okay. They get back to Alex´ office not even ten minutes later, both with sushi in front of them.

“I was thinking…”, Alex starts, while stabbing at his food almost angrily.

“That´s something new.”, Thomas interrupts him.

Alex kicks him with a grin and ignores the dramatic cry Thomas lets out.

“As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted by my boyfriend.”, he hesitates a moment as he says the word “boyfriend”, but when Thomas doesn´t react he continues. “I think we should do a double date with John and Laf.”

Thomas smiles at him and nods.

“Sure, I think that could be nice.”

Alex relaxes, even though he wasn´t previously aware that he was tense and gives Thomas a bright smile.

“Great, I´ll ask John.”

They continue talking about practically everything during their lunch break, until it is time for them to actually start working again.

“How´s your head, by the way?”, Thomas asks, after they have tidied up their food.

“Still a bit hurting, but not so bad that it´s really bothering me.”, he chuckles. “I´ve had worse headaches from not sleeping.”

“You sound absolutely too proud of that fact.”

“I don´t.”, Alex says grinning.

“You do. You know, being a disaster human being isn´t something you should be trying to achieve.”

Alex laughs.

“I know.”

Thomas rolls his eyes and presses a quick kiss to Alexander´s lips, before he heads back to his own office. Alex returns to his desk, opening his laptop and starts to write, finally being able to fully concentrate on his work again, still feeling happy and light. He gets most of his writing done for the next two days, only leaving his office twice to get some more coffee. He meets Burr during one of those coffee breaks, who gives him an awkward smile and asks him how his head is feeling. They make some polite conversation, while waiting for the coffee, and then Alex heads back to his office. At exactly five p.m., he meets Thomas in front of Washington´s office, who joins them a few minutes later, and together they walk into his office. They explain their plan to their boss, and he seems to be rather pleased with the outcome.

“I´m impressed with your work.”, he says finally. “You came to a good compromise.”

“Yes.”, Thomas agrees. “This actually worked pretty well for us.”

“Because I seduced you.”, Alex chimes in, and Thomas looks like he wants to face palm.

“He didn´t seduce me. We worked this out professionally.”, Thomas rushes to say.

“Alexander.”, Washington sighs.

“I only slept three hours and hit my head; you can´t expect me to be fully coherent right now.”

“Just get him home, will you, Thomas? I will send our partners the forms to sign.”

“Yes, sir.”, he answers, shoving Alex out of the door.

It takes almost no convincing to get Alex to share a taxi home, who is actually pretty content to go home for once. He really wasn´t looking forward to taking public transport and that he can cuddle with Thomas on his way home is a sweet bonus.

“Promise me you´ll go to sleep right now.”, Thomas says, once they have reached Alex´ flat.

“Only if I get a good night kiss.”, he replies.

Thomas rolls his eyes, leaning over and kissing Alex lovingly.

“Good night, darling. I´ll see you tomorrow.”

“Good night.”, Alex replies, pressing a quick kiss to Thomas´ lips, before he heads into the building.

He has just enough time to pull off his clothes, before he crashes on the bed and is fast asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> You can come talk to me on tumblr @whatdidimissjm! Comments always make my day so tell me what you think of it! :)


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